24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the day after is always just damage control
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
