Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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