Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
