i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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