he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
