angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
