dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize