so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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