porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
