Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
