Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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