Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
