We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
