I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
