I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
