no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
