Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
