We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
