Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
