she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
