I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Couch. On fire.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
