Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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