you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
