is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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