Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
