is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
