Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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