Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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