She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Pants are for mortals
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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