is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
