Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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