Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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