You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
