I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
