walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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