He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
