I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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