Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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