I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
