She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
