I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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