I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
