Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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