Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
