Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize