You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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