did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
