Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just puked most of my soul out..
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