Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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