Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
