I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
