Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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