One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
