Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
