pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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