in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize