You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
