The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
